I Wanted To Write

I really have been wanting to keep writing and keep posting entries, and I want to share my story to anyone who will listen. It may not be an amazing tale of adventures or exciting journeys, but it will always be one of perseverance and encouragement. It will be real, and it will be filled of days of happiness and joy, others of sadness and anger that gets the best of me. When I hear about someone who looks up to me for whatever reason, I feel at a loss for words because I am truly a wreck. I am the last person that anyone should look to, but it is humbling to know it happens. It's an awakening to keep pushing through the bad days, to "cover up for the rain" as the band Lydia sings. Waking up today, I like a lot of the world found out about the death of a musical icon, a theatrical genius, and a truly unique mind. David Bowie has gotten me through so many days of feeling just lost, feeling so down on myself for being so different from the rest of the world. Those days were long before I grew into loving myself for my differences. This man put all of himself out there to be criticized and hated by some, but the ones who loved him loved him with everything. There is no middle ground when it comes to him. It's either you loved him or you just didn't understand. I loved hearing the bits of his music I did throughout the years, but my first time of really experiencing all of him was in high school when we watch Labyrinth in the auditorium for theater. Watching him dance around with these puppets, singing so gracefully to a song that was truly just silly, how could the young me not fall in love with all that he was?! I remember diving into his music and loving every bit of it. Seeing him play one of my favorite scientists throughout history in The Prestige, I almost didn't recognize Bowie as Nikola Tesla. It was such a different role to see him as this sophisticated, normal looking man. I admired him for all that he was and all that he could do and bring out with even just a small role in this random movie. It became a favorite, and I am watching it now. He will always be a man of extremes that stood against the world, and damn it, I love him for it. "Heroes" being in The Perks of Being A Wallflower is one of the reasons I love that movie and book. Hearing it play through the tunnel... "And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." RIP David Bowie. Dance among the stars as we continue to gaze upon your infinite beauty, infinite genius.